I can't believe it's been a year. Time is weird.
I made a sort of picture video showing the growth over their first year for both of my oldest two children to show at their first birthday parties. As I contemplated the the upcoming anniversary of the birth of Leif and Erik I knew I wanted to make a video for them too. I knew it would be a little different, but I knew I'd make one anyway.
You may be surprised by the song I picked, but the meaning for me is much different than the probable intended meaning of the artist.
Several weeks after Leif and Erik were born I was driving my oldest son to school and I heard "Daylight" for the first time. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I was hearing all the emotion of that one beautiful day we had Leif and Erik with us in this song. Not wanting to say goodbye to my sons, but knowing that I would have to and making the most of the time we had holding them close.
After listening a few times I decided I would have to make a video with this song. I went to Wikipedia to look up any information about the song and found out something interesting. Maroon 5 posted a request on their website for people to share their stories as a way to help create a music video for the song. They called it the "Daylight Project". According to the news source it was posted on 9/18/12. The very day I was experiencing MY story.
Here it is:
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Sunday, September 15, 2013
Communities of Support
I thought I'd take a minute to do a post that is a little more upbeat.
There are so many awesome communities of support available to grieving parents. I am so grateful for them. It's hard not to feel alone when you have lost a child.
Personally, I am part of several different groups and they support me in different ways.
First, I have been a member of the forums on americanpregnancy.org (APA) since my very first pregnancy...that's right, going on 7 years. I don't post a lot, but I've learned so much about getting pregnant, pregnancy, breastfeeding, and parenting from all the different perspectives of such a diverse group of women on APA.
Let me tell you, ladies on APA were SO supportive during my pregnancy with my twins. I generally went to them first to be my sounding board with any new news and always felt encouragement and support from them.
On the way to the hospital on the morning the boys were born I thought about how all these women from one end of the country to the other who I had never met in person who were thinking about us and praying for us and it filled my soul with gratitude for the kind of compassion that exists in the world. It still brings tears to my eyes to think about it.
Second, and oh so important to me in my journey were the sensitive and thoughtful women who run the Angel Watch group through Intermountain Healthcare in SLC. The Angel Watch program supports families whose unborn child/ren are given a life-limiting diagnosis.
Carolyn and Kay met with us during my pregnancy to talk with us about difficult things and to give whatever encouragement we needed. They weren't afraid to ask about our fears and hopes. They let us know that the wide range of emotions we were experiencing were normal. They gave us ideas on how to explain what was happening to our older children. Most of all, they came to listen, and I really needed that.
As part of this program, we are also able to connect on facebook and occasionally in person at support meetings with other parents who have found out that their child was most likely going to die before or shortly after birth.
Third, I now belong to a small private facebook group of families who have conjoined twins. It is wonderful to be able to connect with people who understand my situation in a very unique way. If you are expecting or have had conjoined twins and would like to join this closed, private group you can send me a message.
Lastly, I can not overlook the priceless service of Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep. Pictures are SO important to us. My grandma lost her first two babies...she wasn't even allowed to see them! I can't tell you what she would give to have just one picture. I am so grateful that there are photographers out there who are willing to be specially trained and donate there services to provide professional pictures for parents whose opportunity to capture the life of their child is so brief.
I feel so blessed to live in a time where the medical community recognizes the importance of supporting families who want to spend time with a baby no matter how limited it may be. I'm grateful to all the women and families out there who allow themselves to be emotionally vulnerable when the open up and speak about their experiences with losing their babies so that I don't have to feel all alone. Each of you is a gift.
There are so many awesome communities of support available to grieving parents. I am so grateful for them. It's hard not to feel alone when you have lost a child.
Personally, I am part of several different groups and they support me in different ways.
First, I have been a member of the forums on americanpregnancy.org (APA) since my very first pregnancy...that's right, going on 7 years. I don't post a lot, but I've learned so much about getting pregnant, pregnancy, breastfeeding, and parenting from all the different perspectives of such a diverse group of women on APA.
Let me tell you, ladies on APA were SO supportive during my pregnancy with my twins. I generally went to them first to be my sounding board with any new news and always felt encouragement and support from them.
On the way to the hospital on the morning the boys were born I thought about how all these women from one end of the country to the other who I had never met in person who were thinking about us and praying for us and it filled my soul with gratitude for the kind of compassion that exists in the world. It still brings tears to my eyes to think about it.
Second, and oh so important to me in my journey were the sensitive and thoughtful women who run the Angel Watch group through Intermountain Healthcare in SLC. The Angel Watch program supports families whose unborn child/ren are given a life-limiting diagnosis.
Carolyn and Kay met with us during my pregnancy to talk with us about difficult things and to give whatever encouragement we needed. They weren't afraid to ask about our fears and hopes. They let us know that the wide range of emotions we were experiencing were normal. They gave us ideas on how to explain what was happening to our older children. Most of all, they came to listen, and I really needed that.
Carolyn and Kay holding Leif and Erik at the hospital.
Third, I now belong to a small private facebook group of families who have conjoined twins. It is wonderful to be able to connect with people who understand my situation in a very unique way. If you are expecting or have had conjoined twins and would like to join this closed, private group you can send me a message.
Lastly, I can not overlook the priceless service of Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep. Pictures are SO important to us. My grandma lost her first two babies...she wasn't even allowed to see them! I can't tell you what she would give to have just one picture. I am so grateful that there are photographers out there who are willing to be specially trained and donate there services to provide professional pictures for parents whose opportunity to capture the life of their child is so brief.
I feel so blessed to live in a time where the medical community recognizes the importance of supporting families who want to spend time with a baby no matter how limited it may be. I'm grateful to all the women and families out there who allow themselves to be emotionally vulnerable when the open up and speak about their experiences with losing their babies so that I don't have to feel all alone. Each of you is a gift.
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